The Promises of a New Year

Every time a new year rolls around, I always find a day to clear out the junk in my life. Whether that means terminating friendships/relationships (which I did rather successfully/unsuccessfully last year, depending on how you look at it), deleting files off my laptop (my recycle bin has never looked so full), or cleaning out my room (maybe I'll save that for Chinese New Year instead), it's the one resolution I (almost) always go through with. 


While going through my documents folder earlier, I began to notice the multiple "projects" I started but never finished. For example, for a few months at the beginning of 2010, I attempted to track my spending patterns. Needless to say, it got quite depressing realizing what I was blowing my money on so I stopped doing it. Can anyone say Failure #1 of 2010?


Another thing that caught my attention was the fact that I have ceased documenting the "memorable" moments of my life. Going through all my friends' Facebook albums made me feel slightly ashamed of myself. How come I didn't take any pictures during the holidays? Birthdays? Random nights out? Do I just not care about these events anymore? What should women be caring about in their 20s if not these events?! That my friends, is what I call Failure #2.


And the biggest failure of all time? My job applications file. Last year, I applied for less than 75 jobs the whole year. 75 jobs in 365 days. That's one job about every 4 to 5 days or so. What the hell Michelle?! For a while there I thought I was doing relatively well because I was going on second and third interviews! Numbers never lie.


After finishing this whole exercise of clearing my hard drive, I came to the conclusion that I was rather lazy and negligent last year. I wasted about 335 days out of the year! (I managed to do a bit of traveling in and out of the country, so let's call that Success #1) Thank goodness for the glory days of youth. If I came to this same conclusion in my 30s, I'd be having a real crisis right about now!


Therefore, I will make the following promises to myself:
1. 75 job applications in 2 months
2. More photo documentation of my various adventures
3. Will definitely take better care of my health
4. Act less like a grownup, more like a wild teenager (joking...sort of)


I leave you with this quote: "The strongest people are not those who always win, but those who stand back up when they fall."

When life kicks you in the behind...repeatedly

Today started out like any other day - woke up at 7AM, trudged to work half asleep, sat at my desk in a state of semi-consciousness hoping no one noticed the lack of actual work being done...etc. It also ended like almost any other day - train delays (maybe the MTA doesn't think they're being paid enough?), 25mph winds hurtling towards my unprotected face on the walk home...I could go on and on. 

Then, I picked up the mail from the mailbox before I entered the house. I am usually not the first one home, but it's sort of a routine I've developed. It makes me feel good when I see mail addressed to me, regardless of whether it's a bill, a solicitation notice, or the weekly subscription of Ok! Magazine someone seems to have signed me up for (perhaps I did it myself one day in another semi-conscious state of mind). 

Today, I get a letter from the New York Presbyterian Hospital.

Oh fudge.

A few weeks ago, I sliced my finger at work. Those of you who know the story behind it are probably still laughing at my stupidity. Those of you who don't know the story...well, let's just leave it at "I sliced my finger at work." Fire department visit, ambulance ride, and three stitches later, I have this grotesque, misplaced-skin-looking scar on my middle finger. The attending doctor at the ER told me that my dreams of becoming a hand model were over. 

Needless to say, I've been dreading receiving the bill from the hospital. Luckily, my shipment of new boots also came in the mail today. Good news, bad news? I decided to have my brother open the letter for me instead. 

"Just let me know if it's over 3 digits."

*makes unintelligible noise* "Errr.....ummm...."

Oh fudge. 

I decide to open my shipment instead. My lovely new boots, which I (sub)consciously bought to match my new gray jacket. Lo and behold, the left boot is just a shade off. Now I need to return them. After I've fallen in love.

So the score as of today:

Hospital = 1

Boots = 1

Life = 23,095

Michelle = 0

My woes are trivial compared to those of people out there who are starving, have no home, are victims of wars that are fought by men with egos. Still, I can't help thinking that someone is trying to teach me a lesson. Which begs the question: why me? 

Please deliver to the scared little girl hiding in the corner

Dear Michelle,

At this point in your life, you know who you are. Your morals and your philosophy on life have been molded by the events of the past year and you're firmly set in your ways. You've developed a set of rules to live by that others might not agree with, but are YOURS nonetheless. You don't care what others think of you (at least you try not to care) because you know that everything you're working for is ultimately for yourself. In this crazy environment you've been thrust into, you have accepted all changes and adapted seamlessly.

But what happens now? When will you realize that adapting isn't the same as moving? When will you let go of your demons and forge ahead? The clock is ticking - it's already March. Have you done any of the things that you set out to accomplish by this time of the year? What's stopping you now?

I can't always be here to provide a wake-up call. I would wish you all the luck in the world but I know you don't believe in luck. So here's to accomplishment, fulfillment and all the happiness your perseverance can acquire.

Love,
Michelle

It's the little things

There's nothing quite like

.. that first cup of coffee in the morning
.. receiving a genuine smile from a stranger
.. finding a song that makes you happy every time you hear it
.. snuggling into clean linens at the end of the day
.. discovering a misplaced letter from an old friend


.. realizing that no matter how hard life may seem at times, there's always a silver lining.

The Fine Art of Peeing in a Ditch

The one thing I absolutely loathe about China is the lack of proper toilets. Those hole-in-the-ground-you-have-to-pee-by-squatting apparatuses make me cringe every time. I'm a girl -- how am I expected to pee that way?! So when we decided to trek westward for fall break, towards rural Yunnan and Sichuan, I had to put on a brave face and come to terms with the fact that I'd be using nothing but "squatties."

Five hours into a bumpy bus ride and two bottles of water later, I was bursting with thoughts of shiny automatic-flush toilets and marble sinks. Alas, what greeted me at the makeshift rest stop was an outhouse made out of mud, and three little children asking for a 50 cents fee for using their "bathroom."

I hurriedly deposited the coins in their eagerly awaiting palms before standing in line behind my fellow travelers. I held my breath in anticipation of the stench that will inevitably waft up my nostrils. When it was my turn to step behind the tiny cloth drape that doubled as the door, I realized why there was a such a long line to begin with; there were 3 ditches lined up next to one another, with the teeniest of mud walls to separate each one. We being Westerners have an innate sense of privacy that non-Western people don't recognize. The shame of seeing each other with our pants down forced us to go in one at a time, while the locals watched us curiously and asked each other in Chinese "How come they can't see that there are 3 stalls in there?!"

As I squatted down, I realized that these ditches were more advanced than I thought. They were carefully dug, so that it slanted down towards the holes in the outhouse wall. Where everything will inevitably end up...I didn't want to walk around the area to find out.

But the silver lining of this experience? I realized that peeing outdoors in the open air is TEN TIMES better than peeing indoors with bad plumbing. Oh, and about 2 hours after that bathroom incident, we had the chance to see this:

2,685 meters above sea level

If you're ever craving a rush, drive up the mountains in Yunnan Province in China. There are no barriers on this road. It's just you, your car and the treacherous fall down that awaits if you steer the wheel even one degree in the wrong direction. In order to reach your destination, you will spend hours twisting and turning through the cliffs. Every few feet it will feel as if your car is going to go straight off. It's incredibly exciting, albeit in a I-can't-believe-I-survived-that-turn-oh my god-I'm-going-to-die kind of way.

So what else would a bunch of 20-year-old college students do? One chilly day in October, we crammed into a bus and set off for Lugu Lake. To alleviate the fear of our bus flying off the cliff, we sang Disney songs most of the way. And then it started to rain...and we heard the wheels squealing against the road...we saw our lives flashing before our eyes...

But miraculously, we made it to the top in one piece. And what did we see?

(Lugu Lake panoramic taken by Nancy Wu)

2,685 meters above sea level lies this beauty, nestled in between the mountains that border Yunnan and Sichuan Provinces. Your first glimpse of this lake will take your breath away, literally. You have to inhale and pinch yourself a few times to make sure you're not dreaming. The surrounding area is hazy, as if you're in the clouds. The water ripples softly in the daylight, a blue so clear you can see yourself in it...

You will start to believe that there might be someone up there working magic after all.